What's in that envelope?

I'm very experienced in rejection, but I don't know a hang about acceptance so I couldn't say for sure if getting back self-stamped, self-addressed envelope always means a rejection. It just always has for me.

Ah, but hope springs eternal from every unopened envelope, so I run my fingers along the outside up and down. Is this one a little thicker than the others, I ask myself.

Could it be a request for a partial or even a full??

No it couldn't be. Sometimes it is a card, sometimes it is just a thick piece of paper.

Just happened again today with a query I had forgotten about from weeks ago. Felt thick, so maybe it is a good sign. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Nope, just another rejection and a form one at that.

Darn nice piece of stationary, though. Really thick paper.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The good news is....

I got none of those "instant" rejections that usually happen when you send out queries by email, the ones that come within a few hours of you sending them, or the next day.

This means nothing but, as a writing reject you take your joy where you can find it, so there you go.

An anonymous person (I have a feeling I know who) asked that I post my query letter here, so I will. I always tell myself in getting rejected that the agent is just passing judgment on my ability to write query letters, not my fiction.

So here goes:

Dear Agent:

Run! It was the last word Berjulio “B.H.” Velasquez heard his mother say before she was escorted away by officers of ICE — Immigration and Customs Enforcement — and he did not hesitate to obey, though he quickly realized the consequences of doing so left him stranded and alone on the streets of Los Angeles.

My novel, FOUND IN TRANSLATION, complete at 69,000 words, traces B.H. as he struggles to survive and finds an oasis from the danger of the streets in an open door at a branch library. Head librarian Stephanie Ryan discovers that she has large “rat,” soon realizing that it is a homeless boy. Stephanie is joined by a police sergeant and officer who take an interest in the case of finding the boy before immigration officials, who are required by law to deport him back to Mexico without his parents. As the parents struggle to sneak back across the border without getting caught, those who would help him race against time. The parents themselves have difficulty with some who supposedly want to offer them help. The rescue is completed with essential help from the Los Angeles’ Latino community and the family is eventually reunited. The circumstances of B.H.’s story are quite real. Every year children are deported to Mexico without their guardians.

My name is Phil Latham and I am editor and publisher of the Marshall News Messenger a small daily newspaper in East Texas. I have written a twice-weekly column for the last 25 years and editorials for almost as long. I have won a raft of awards for both, as well as for the public service my newspaper has done. I am former editor of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Lufkin Daily News, though I did not participate in the project that earned that award. By my own conservative estimation, I’ve written about two million published words. For some 10 years my column was distributed by the New York Times News Service and has been published in newspapers across the country and the globe.

In my search for possible agents I have tried to match my story and circumstances as best I can. I appreciate your indulgence in considering it and any time you might spend doing so. If time permits, I would request the courtesy of a reply.

Thank you,

Phil Latham


That's it. If you see anything stupid, let me know.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Here I go again

Sent nine queries by email today and prepared five others to be mailed tomorrow.

Already have gotten one "pre-rejection" on the email side: "Thank you for your submission but I will only contact you if I am interested."

Translation: Abandon all hope, ye who query here.

But I never abandon hope, so we'll see what happens. I will keep the world apprised.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

You can't write like that

Often, when I'm reading a good book I will say to myself, "Wow, I wish I could write like that."

But of course I can't.

And neither can you.

Each of us can only write just as we do. I comes from inside us - I haven't figured out just where yet - and each word we write is ours and only ours.

As an interesting exercise I can try to imitate Faulkner or Hemingway, but really attempting to do that seriously would be, as might daughter might say, a "classic fail."

We can each get better in our own writing and we should try to do that and never stop trying.

But ultimately what we write is a fundamental part of who we are. I can no more borrow someone's ability to write than I could borrow Arnold Schwarzenegger's arm to impress all my friends.

I'll be back.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd

Ray Stevens wrote and sang that instant classic. They just don't make them like that any more.

You can't write in a buffalo herd either. Well, anything you write has a funny smell to it, sort of like what those buffalo leave behind.

Which is to say that you need solitude to write. I haven't been getting any solitude lately and I haven't been writing much. When it is 11:30 p.m. before you get to be alone, the brain is already whining for rest.

I need solitude. I'm not asking for much, but a few hours would be nice. Even one hour a night would be nice. My next step is to buy some of those noise-canceling headphones and then maybe some blinders so I can only see straight ahead.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

On reading and writing

I don't think even if you are feverishly writing on an idea you should ever give up reading good literature.

Not all of what I read could be considered literature, exactly, but most of it is. Sometimes I just have to dumb myself down and read a bit of science fiction or a pot-boiler mystery. Not that I'm criticizing that writing - those authors have accomplished more than I have and they often have a great following of loyal readers.

But can you be a great writer if you don't read great literature? I doubt it. If you think you can't find any you like, you haven't looked around enough. If you don't know how to find it, I suggest reading book reviews. Or, one thing I do if I'm browsing a bookstore with no title in mind is look for this on a book: "A New York Times Notable Book."

I have not once been disappointed.

But take any of my advice with caution. I am a writing reject.

Your in rejection,

Phil

Fourteen Queries to Go

I looked at my query list for Found In Translation today and saw I have fourteen more agent names of those I targeted when I first started sending out queries about two months ago.

There are other agents out there, of course, but some of them are clearly not going to be interested in a novel such as mine.

So I'm going to try these last fourteen and see what happens. Then I'll make a decision on whether to rewrite and which way to go.

Can you tell I'm putting it off? I have no stomach for it right now, but I will just have to gut it up, like it or not.

Unless I get that "yes" I'm looking for.

Nah, I'll be gutting it up.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Thanks, Vonciel!

My friend Vonciel signed up to follow me, which I appreciate, just because it makes me feel as if I am not totally talking to myself.

But for writers, talking to yourself is OK. I've found in just a short time that this blog helps me clear some of my thoughts.

If you are a writer, I recommend it. If someone else on a similar journey happens across this and it helps them, all the better.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Online writing groups

Probably, out there somewhere, a good online writing group exists.

I haven't found it yet and each one of the half-dozen I've been a part of has been disappointing.

The concept is good. People you don't know read your work and give you valuable feedback, something you can't get from friends (see an earlier post about that).

The problem is none of the groups has a good way to match the writing levels of those doing the critiques with the writers.

So you could easily have a high school student reading your work. I don't mind that, but when the bulk of those critiquing are not anywhere close to a target audience it seems like a waste of time.

I quit the last one I was in after I got a critique that included a notation from the writer that he "suspected" I was using too many commas.

OK, great. Thanks a lot for that. I'll go remove half of them at random.

Here's how it could work: If five or six people at about the same writing level formed a group and when you needed something read you could get five opinions on it. If a site like this exists I have not found it.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

A 'nice' rejection; time to send more queries

I got a nice rejection today from Ann Rittenberg.

A "nice" rejection in my definition is one that is not just a small piece of paper or a card that apologizes for the impersonal nature of the rejection.

A nice rejection is actually personalized, cites you by name and is actually signed by the agent.

In my imagination (which is all that matters in these instances) a nice rejection is one step up the ladder from the form rejection and shows a bit of respect.

If this isn't true please don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss.

I believe the Rittenberg rejection to be the last still outstanding. Since I have one group, maybe two groups, of queries left to send, I will do that this week.

When the last queries are sent I will have some serious deciding on what to do with my second novel, Found in Translation.

But I'll worry about that tomorrow, not today.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

To rewrite, or to forge ahead? Part 1

This is likely to be a multi-post argument as I try to decide whether to rewrite my second novel from an adult mainstream into young adult. Or a rewrite from adult into a much edgier novel. Or do nothing at all and just keep trying

Quite some decisions, huh?

But, frankly, I'm not getting nearly as much interest as I thought I would with novel No. 2. In fact, it has been far less than I got from my first novel. This is surprising because novel No. 1 is fairly convoluted — I'm not going to bore you with the details, but trust me, it is. Novel No. 2 is highly plot-driven. It goes from point A to point B, though the reader doesn't know where point B is until near the end, it is a logical progression.

The first novel got a lot of attention from agents and I believe I was close a couple of times. Rather, I should say a few agents led me to believe I was close.

Agent Felicia Eth said novel No. 2 didn't work because it was "too much like a docudrama." I have pondered this a great deal.

I began writing the second novel with the idea it would be YA and then diverged after I got into it. I have some ideas for going in either direction, but I'm not sure I have given it a full-enough chance yet as it is.

Probably spend today thinking about it. I haven't written much in two weeks and I'm getting itchy.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

What are friends for?

I read on another site - I don't remember which one - that you shouldn't let your friends read your unpublished work because they will always give you the wrong advice.

Soooooo....If you don't let your friends read your work, are you just supposed to send it off totally unread to agents and publishers?

I don't think you are going to be able to hang around outside, say, a McDonald's and find total strangers who are willing to read what you have written.

"Hey, buddy, can you spare a few days to read this novel I've written?"

Few of us have the money to pay a professional editor to read what we have written. I only wish I did. If you haven't checked the prices on that lately, don't bother unless you have a lot of coins in the bank.

A better idea - this coming from someone who hasn't made it past first base in the publishing world, understand - is to let friends read the book, but only believe the criticism they offer and none of the praise. Most of us aren't looking for praise, anyway.

I'll post soon about my experience using online writing conferences.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

First step: Believe in yourself

As I've said, all the agents who have awarded me with rejection have been either nice (often) or professional (always).

Still, the attempt to get published is not for the faint of heart. The initial writing is nothing compared to the ongoing work that happens afterward. To continue to do it in the face of constant rejection takes some serious loin-girding.

You must believe in yourself because in the beginning very few others will and perhaps in some cases no one will. I can absolutely count on the fingers of one hand the people who really think I can do this — and that includes me.

If this depresses you, think about it a moment. How many people do you know who could tell you they were trying to get a novel published would you really believe had a real chance to be successful? I'm guessing there are very few.

So don't worry about that. The disbelief of others is natural. Just believe in yourself and don't stop. I may never be successful in finding an agent or a publisher but it won't ruin my life. I'm engaged in work I love and any work that is worthwhile is always difficult, leaning toward impossible.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

My definition of a 'good' rejection

I'm not exactly sure how I will handle it if I actually get something other than a rejection notice. As it is, I look at each rejection and mentally put it into a category of "good, bad, worse."

A "good" rejection is not one in which the agent says anything nice about my work. It is one in which the agent gives me some clue as to why they have rejected the work. This is all-important even though — as every single rejection notice says — this is a very subjective field and one opinion often doesn't mean much.

So here is a rejection from agent Katie Grimm of Don Congdon Associates:

Dear Phil,

Thank you for your email query and apologies for the delay. I appreciate the opportunity to consider FOUND IN TRANSLATION for possible representation, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent for it. The concept just didn’t grab me, and you deserve an enthusiastic agent who can champion your work. Of course this is only one response, and tastes vary widely among agents. I wish you the best of luck finding the right home for your work.

I love this for a number of reasons. First, she apologized for the delay! Can you believe it? This is unheard of. Second she tells me that "the concept just didn't grab me." OK, that tells me something.

That doesn't mean that my concept is off, it could be that the letter I wrote explaining the concept is bad. OR, yeah, the concept could be bad.

At least it gives me something to think about!

Thanks, Katie!

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Moving On

Larry McMurtry wrote a fabulous novel in his earlier days and I always find that not many people have read it. It is called "Moving on" and it about the difficulty of doing that.

I feel his pain.

In the forward to that book, McMurtry revealed that how he wrote a book was to think of a title first, then write the book around it.

This is hard to believe and I'm not sure McMurtry wasn't just leading us on. But he told the story in the context of having the material for this book after writing "All My Friends Are Going to be Strangers," (another great book) and how difficult it was to come up with a title after finishing the novel.

Maybe that is the secret. Spend three months coming up with a title, then write the book around it.

Nah, that's the kind of thing that would only work if your name is "McMurtry."

For people with my last name - and maybe yours - there is another answer. Too bad we don't know what it is yet.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

In Search of Bigfoot

Maybe what I really need instead of an editor to read my book is a tailor.

But, on second thought, most agents assure me it is not the crap-osity of my writing that leads them to say "no," but the that that they wouldn't "fit" with my work.

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I do not feel I am the right fit for this," one agent writes me.

See, it isn't my fault at all. The agent just isn't the right fit.

So I keep wondering what an agent would look like who would "fit" my work.

Frankenstein? That thing from Alien? Maybe the Predator.

Or maybe a drag queen.

I don't need to write, I just need to go on a search for the Bigfoot of agents.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

When I always feel better

After my bit of self-pity earlier tonight I got a chance to write on a short story and the words flowed well. Sometimes they do and sometimes they do.

But getting published or not, I always feel better after I write. Part of the point of this blog is to make certain I write something every day. You must push yourself to do it, even when you know it will make you feel better.

That is something to remember.

Getting published would, indeed, feel good, but not as good as just the writing itself.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

All it takes is one "Yes!"

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you just have to win the lottery once, too.

Out of sorts. Four rejection letters in the mail today.

Four. FOUR. I will refrain from cursing with an alliterative expletive.

Plenty of moments you simply want to quit. But I won't think of that today, I'll think of that tomorrow.

I hope you get a "yes" today.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Elaine Koster and the DaVinci Code

To properly understand this post you need to get within the mind of a person who gets multiple rejections from literary agents.

Screw that, I wouldn't do that to you. But let's put it this way, prospective authors are looking for ANY sign on a rejection note — even the form rejection — that will give them some clues about their work.

But when I pulled ELAINE KOSTER'S rejection note from the envelope, I didn't really pay much attention that it was from ELAINE KOSTER. That would make her initials E.K., right?

Yes.

But I wasn't paying attention to that. I was looking at the small, handwritten note at the top of the page. It said "Sorry, not for us. EK, 5-31."

At least that was all I saw at the moment. Had I been paying attention I would have noted that the rejection was from ELAINE KOSTER.

Instead, my eye went directly to the "EK, 5-31."

This agent is quoting a Bible verse! I was beside myself. She is trying to send me a clue about my work! But what kind of clue. Quick, I had to find a Bible.

What was EK, anyway? I figured Ezekiel, so I quickly went to find Ezekiel 5:31. There is no such verse, but Ezekiel's Chapter 5 has some interesting passages including this gem:

"I will make you a ruin and a reproach among the nations around you, in the sight of all who pass by. 15 You will be a reproach and a taunt, a warning and an object of horror to the nations around you when I inflict punishment on you in anger and in wrath and with stinging rebuke."

What? What had I done to piss off this woman?

Maybe it was Exodus, or Ecclesiastes. Nope and Nope.

I went back for the tenth time to look at the note. Who was this woman?

It was ELAINE KOSTER, EK. Then I noticed there wasn't just a 5-31, but it was a 5-31-10.

It was the freaking date and her initials.

Somehow, I still feel as if this is a punishment from God.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

"The Kite Runner" mystery

I read that Khaled Hosseini, the author of "The Kite Runner," said he was rejected by 30 agents before the intelligent Elaine Koster signed him on.

I'll have another post about Elaine Koster later, but for right now, I cannot get past my astonishment that 30, THIRTY, THREE-ZERO agents rejected "The Kite Runner." Oh, my good Lord.

This is beyond discouraging.

Because how much worse are either of my novels than "The Kite Runner"? The scale has not been invented to map such a difference. It would have to be on the order of parsecs.

And, remember, this is by MY judgment. I wrote the novels and think they are damn fine pieces of work (he said with an air of humility), but they are not "The Kite Runner."

Here is the only optimistic thing I can gather from this story. I happen to know that 30 agents did not read "The Kite Runner" and reject it. Probably 25 of them read and rejected a query letter. Another four read and rejected the 30 sample pages he sent with the original query. One asked for the first 100 pages and rejected it.

Then along came Elaine Koster. Damn smart woman.

More later on her.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

'Not what we need at this time'

One of my favorite rejection form rejection notes I did not even recognize as a form the first time I saw it. Only when I sent the same agent another query for a completely different novel — and got the same exact note — did I realize what was going on.

"This wasn't as compelling as I thought it would be," the agent said.

As an author this is a bit deflating of course. Not compelling? Hell, I thought it was jam packed with compelling.

But at least the agent read the short sample you sent, you think. That is better than nothing. Then you toddle away to make your work more "compelling," however the hell you do that.

Then I got the same note for the second novel.

Now is it a form letter, or is all my crap just non-compelling? Well, I admit, the latter is a distinct possibility, but it sounds too fishy for me.

Besides, I think I am damn compelling.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Closure, I need closure!

You may think the testy rejection note, or perhaps the downright mean one (I've never gotten one of those) is as low as it gets trying to find a place for your work.

Wrong.

The worst is no answer at all.

Which is why I would prefer to send a query via snail-mail with an SASE, though it costs money rather than send an email to an agent who openly tells you, "We only respond to work we are interested in."

Why is this? Because, they say, they get so many solicitations.

Balderdash, I say.

It takes no longer to hit the "reply" button and type "no, thanks" and hit "send" than it does to stuff a rejection note into an SASE and put it in the outbox.

Most of those you email will give you a response.

Thank you, gentlemen and ladies. I greatly appreciate it and so do millions of other sub-par and otherwise unpublished writers.

To the rest of you, I'd like to impress upon you to just hit that reply button. You don't even have to thank us, just say "no." It will make us sleep better. Really.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

My current favorite agent

That would be Felicia Eth, who I saw on one list as being one of the top 10 fiction agents in the country.

The top ten! And she wanted to see my work!

Hooray!

OK, so she was interested in my novel enough to want to see the first 100 pages.

I sent the pages off and waited with every cliche you can possibly think of. I burned candles. found out the origin of the "Eth" name and prayed to the ancient Gods.

So I get a wonderful email back from Felicia. Forget that she didn't want to pick me up, she said nice things about my writing, she told me what she thought was wrong, she gave me hints of how I might go about correcting it.

You can't pay for that kind of help from someone of her caliber.

Thank you, Felicia Eth.

So you CAN get rejected and it makes you feel even better.

But there is this: I sent the first 100 pages and Felicia told me some of the problems she had.

I wanted to send her back an email and say, "Felicia, all that stuff you wanted, it started on PAGE ONE-HUNDRED-ONE!!!

I didn't think she would buy it. She's too smart for that...

Yours in rejection,

Phil