Another day, another thousand words

If you could force yourself to write 1,000 words a day, every day, you could have a novel-length manuscript done in 90 days.

It might not be worth reading - it probably would not be - but I still think it is important to get what is in your brain out on paper (or computer, as the case may be). Once you have it out you can do anything you want with it, including throwing the whole mess away.

More should be thrown away than ever is.

One thing I know for sure is that no one ever spun gold directly from their brain onto paper. Most of the work still has to be done and it is the tedious kind of work. Not the fun stuff.

I would guess that is where I - and maybe most everyone else - fail. I am not rigorous enough with the words after they are on paper. You can't just write an average novel (poem or short story, either)and get it published. It has to be something special.

I'm still working on that.

Rejection project update: 42,836 words in 152 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The boy can still write

After two weeks of not writing a word, I worked on the latest rejection project last night and then again today.

Last night's session was pretty tough, no doubt about it. I had to force myself a great deal and think I just wrote about a page, but that was still better than nothing. The longer I wrote the easier it got.

Today was completely different. I wrote like there had never been a hiatus.

Writing is a habit, pure and simple. When you don't write you get out of the habit. Because it is work (unlike some people believe) it is a lot easier just to skip it, sort of like I have skipped all those exercise lessons all my life.

It feels very good to be writing again. The next few weeks present some challenges to writing, but I am going to try to do it, even if it is only a few paragraphs. That is better than nothing

Rejection Project update: 41,690 words in 148 pages.

Yours in Rejection,

Phil

Comeback

I haven't written - anything - since Nov. 21.

Not quite true. I wrote what I had to at work and last night I fleshed out two poems. Even though you might wish it otherwise, life sometimes intervenes.

So I haven't felt like putting words together and getting back into the groove has not been all that easy, either.

I haven't tried working on the latest rejection project yet but when I close this out I am going to give it a whirl.

We'll see. I am not overly optimistic.

But eventually, it will come back because it is what I do and just about all I do.

Cheers...

Phil

Finding your own way

You can get a lot of advice both from books and across the Internet and, frankly, a lot of it is terrific. In fact, I'm sure all of it has worked for someone.

But none of it is going to work for everyone. In the end I think to be a successful writer - note the name of the blog you are reading, however — you have to find what works for you.

Many writers have found it helps them to, uh, drink a bit as they write. Great. Wish I could do that. But I can't have so much as a glass of wine and then try to write. My brain just want allow it. Others want complete silence. I put on my headphones and crank the music up, which is actually a way of "silence" as it drowns out all the distracting noise.

Others write at exactly the same time during the day, or carry a notebook around with them so they can jot ideas down (a "smart" phone allows you to do the same thing).

Try everything that looks as if it might work for you, but don't worry if you discard half of it or most of it. Writing is an intensely personal act. Others can read what you have written and help you once you have done it, but no one but you can coax it from your brain.

I haven't written on my latest rejection project in two nights so there's no update.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Crossing 40,000

I came to two conclusions tonight in writing. the first is that this rejection project is going to go longer than 80,000 words. I don't believe I am halfway through the writing process and I have now written a few more than 40,000 words. I still think it will be under 90,000.

More importantly, I could tell I am not going to meet my self-imposed deadline of the end of the year. This project - written as a suspense - is more difficult to write, even on the first draft.

In suspense, I am finding the "pieces" have to fit together intricately. Maybe I should have paid the same attention with the last two projects and they would have been better.

Anyway, where I could write a good thousand words in a night before, the suspense project is much more likely to be held to 500-600 a night. That adds up.

It doesn't really matter, but I AM learning something new every time I write. I suppose that is what it is all about.

Current rejection project status: 40,088 words in 141 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Another contest

I just sent in my entry to the Writers' Digest short-short story contest. It is bound to be a tough competition as the top prize is $3,000 and second is $1,500.

This is the second Writers' Digest contest I have entered, the mainstream short story contest just announced the winners and I did not mark in the top 100.

I think I'm going to keep entering the contests, no matter what the result, even if I never make that top 100. True, it does cost $20 to enter, but that is the only downside. You are forced to write something different, to think of something to write out of the air.

That has to be good to help you stretch yourself.

I'm also pretty sure I will enter the poetry contest. Now that one is a real challenge for me. But I will be interested to see who the winners are.

If you have the $20 to spare, I think you ought to try, too. You can find out about all of their contests at writersdigest.com

Good luck to you and to me.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Worth the work?

The question is, if you are doomed to write nothing but rejection projects (unpublished novels) is all the work worth it?

I'm not giving up the idea of getting published by an stretch but the reality is when any of us writes a novel the only thing we are guaranteed at the end of the day is the finished piece.

And don't think it isn't work. It is simply impossible to write 85,000 words without a lot of hard - damn, damn hard - work. Even if it is a bunch of crap at the end of the day, getting there is still tough.

So would it be worth it if you knew for sure you could not be published?

Everyone must answer that for himself (herself) but for me the answer is, yes, it is still worth it.

Writing gets something out of you. It is sort of like taking a dose of the salts for your brain. Published or not, it is still quite an accomplish to finish a novel. Loot at it this ways, millions of people start novels but the number who actually produce a novel each year is tiny by comparison.

So here's to us writing rejects. May we some day find our publisher and, if not, may we never question the worth of what we are doing.

Rejection project status: 37125 words in 131 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil Latham

Bridging the "gap"

Here is what happens to me sometimes when I write: I am in a particular scene and the writing is going well. I also know what is going to happen "next." No problem, right?

Not always.

Because while one scene is nearly written and the next scene is well-thought out iun my head, sometimes there is just this little gap in getting between scene one and scene two.

This is where some of my worst writing takes place. It may happen to others too. I don't see it in the published books I read - well I rarely see it, anyway - but those manuscripts have been well-messaged.

I think the best writers learn how to deal with this much more effectively than I have. Another good reason for reading. Watch how the great authors move their stories along without this awkwardness. I think I need to pay a bit better attention.

Rejection project status: 35,952 words in 127 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Writing with ease

Some nights (I almost always write at night) I can stare at the screen all night and work my butt off to get out one mediocre sentence.

Other nights, like last night, I feel as if I could finish the entire book and I cannot type quickly enough to get the words out.

Of course, the sentences are still mediocre, but at least they come quickly.

This is not surprising but if you were to have asked me before I started to write I could not have told you what kind of night it was going to be. I don't start out feeling particularly juiced one night and dry as a bone the next.

It either happens or it doesn't. Most of the time I can get it going, but I definitely know the quality of the writing is better on some nights than others.

So what do I do? I write through it. Even though I know the writing is lacking, I put it down and move on. I know I am coming back through many times to rewrite. I don't want to stop just because I cannot think of one right word.

Is this the right way to do it? Beats me. I've never published a word of fiction. My guess is the right way is whatever works for you. Sort of like batting stances, everybody has their own.

Rejection project status: 34,506 words in 122 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

"Keep at it"

I spoke with my major mentor the other day. He has not mentored my fiction writing but just about everything else, being especially helpful in my non-fiction writing.

He's the winner of the Pulitzer Prize.

Yes, I'm dropping names, sort of, because not many people can claim to have a Pulitzer-prize winner as a mentor. He was especially helpful, though, in guiding the kinds of books I should read. As I've noted several times, reading is hugely important to writing.

Check out Pat Conroy's new book, "My Reading Life," as an example. I hear it is quite good.

He asked, as he always does, about my efforts to get published. I gave him, as I always do, the same answer.

"Keep at it," he said. "That is what I would tell you. Just keep doing it."

Though I can get discouraged just like everyone else, I think that is sound advice and I intend to follow it.

I should note that he absolutely hated my first novel, Vivie's Rock. He couldn't even finish it. He's the only one who had that sort of reaction. Others may not have loved it, but at least they could finish it!

Not only is he a mentor, but a painfully honest one, at that. Priceless.

Rejection project status: 32,272 words in 114 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Licking my wounds

As it turns out, my entry in the Writer's Digest short story contest was not only not among the top winners, it was not among the top 100 mainstream short stories submitted.

Ouch!

Don't I get rejection enough?

Honestly, this just might be the toughest contest to make a mark in. Thousands of people enter, but I was hoping to make that top 100. It was not to be.

I'll get over it quickly enough. The only danger in rejection is dwelling on it and I don't do that. I am still entering the short-short story contest and my story is already written. I'm just holding onto it for any polishing it might take.

Besides, I'm absolutely sure that my story was No. 101. It just barely didn't make the cut, that's all.

OK, maybe it was No. 102.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

One-third through the process

I crossed the 30,000-word mark last night in writing, which means I am almost certainly more than a third through my latest rejection project.

I say "one-third" because I don't start out with a particular word-count in mind. I cannot imagine that this would go to 90,000 words. In fact, this might be closer to 70,000, so I could be almost half-through.

I know - sorta - what has to happen between now and the end but there are always changes as you write. What's in my head might look goofy on paper, so I back it up and go to another path. In this way, writing is a maze you are trying to work out in your mind. What is the proper way out?

You go down a lot of dead-ends in preparing a rejection project.

This one is much different than the first two, which had to be classified as "mainstream" fiction, the most difficult area crack. This is genre fiction, which is to say mystery and suspense, heavy on the suspense side.

It is supposed to be a bit easier to get into, but I am not counting on that. I did want to do something different, just to see if I could get a different result.

We'll see.

Rejection project status: 30,248 words in 105 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

East of Eden

I spent a great deal more time reading over the weekend than writing.

Being a reader does not automatically make you a writer, but I cannot imagine being even a mediocre writer without being a voracious reader.

I am reading East of Eden, which is about the only John Steinbeck novel I had not read to this point. I think I was daunted by its size, but then I gave and and dove into it.

What a wonderful book. If I could write like that....

But how silly, only a handful of people who have ever lived can write like that and I am not wonderful.

If you have not read it, I encourage you to do so. Oddly, I picked it up after having to set aside the only Toni Morrison book I have not been able to get into, A Mercy. I haven't given up on Morrison's book, but I'm glad I picked up this one!

Rejection project status: 29,200 words, 104 pages

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Writing sessions

A writer friend of mine told me once that when you are writing you should never "write yourself out," that is, you should always stop for the day before you have finished all you have thought of to create.

That way, he reasoned, you would always have a starting place the next day. Voila! No writer's block and a quick start to your next session.

That sounded reasonable to me and so I tried it and found it was almost impossible to do. The more I tried it, the less I liked it. In fact, sometimes I found that by the next writing session, sometimes I had forgotten exactly where I was going. That may mean the "inspiration" wasn't so good in the first place.

Or it might mean I missed an opportunity.

This is a tactic for any writers who might stumble upon this blog and it could work for you. But it doesn't work for me.

Who knows how many such strategies are out there to help us be successful? Probably each writer has half a dozen and most of them only work for that one writer.

The point is just because one strategy does not work for you does not mean there is something wrong with you. It just means you have to find another path.

Status of current rejection project: 28,211 words; 99 pages

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Someone is out there

I wouldn't exactly say that readership of this blog has "exploded," but it is interesting that there has been a definite uptick in views over the last month.

In the first month or so, I would get probably two or three reads a day. I mostly knew who was doing the reading as they were friends of mine. Now I get about 20 views a day.

As I said, no explosion, but at least I don't know the first names of everyone who is looking in.

I know this because the blog stats record the origin nation of the viewer. Of course, almost all the views are from the United States, but a surprising number come from France (?!). About a dozen other nations are represented in the list. This week, someone from India looked in.

Thanks for reading. I hope a little of what I am writing about helps someone in their own journey to get published. At the very least you know that there are others out who are struggling in the same way you are.

The message I am trying to get across above all other things is keep plugging away. Don't stop writing. Never stop writing.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

A good friend

OK, I make light of rejection and the truth really is I don't take myself all that seriously. I take my writing seriously, but not myself. I put everything I have into my writing and you should, too. It is what matters.

But every now and then rejection does get to be a drag and I have to force myself to plow forward, get past the, "why the hell am I doing this" arguments and just write. In times like these I tell myself that at least I am leaving something behind for my kids to read.

My father left me poems he wrote and they are among my most treasured memories.

I had a few friends read "Lost in Translation," my second novel. They were people I picked who were well-read.

After the dismal failure of that manuscript to pick up any interest whatsoever, I've set it aside. I thought it was decent, the agents did not. I respect that decision.

But my friend, who is a published author and playwright came to my office, sat down and quietly said this:

"I don't think I ever told you this, but Lost in Translation is a very good novel. You have written something special and you need to know that."

A good friend and sometimes it helps your soul to listen to friends instead of the critics.

Yours in Rejection,

Phil

Tedium

Now there's a title to really make you want to read a blog, right?

In this case I'm talking about the tedium of re-reading and re-writing. It is so bad I can only do about 14 or 15 pages a night at the absolute maximum.

When your eyes start crossing it is time to stop.

But here is the thing: I always find many errors and examples of bad writing when I re-read. That makes it worthwhile no matter how many times I do it and no matter how tedious it gets.

I've never sold a book, but I still think this is one of key elements to getting one sold. Probably I'm not doing it half enough.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

We interrup this regularly scheduled writing...

I decided on a whim last night that it was time to do another re-through and edit before I went any further.

This is odd because I'm on a roll, know exactly where I am taking the characters and the all important "what happens next."

But I don't want to neglect this sense that I need to re-group, work on what I have so far then forge ahead. I almost wrote, "I've learned not to neglect these feelings...." But that would be goofy since one could easily say that the Master Rejector has not learned anything just yet.

So the next few days will be consumed with going over it word by word.

Part of the reason for this is that I've just started reading "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck. What a book! His descriptive phrasing has to be the most precise ever.

I'll keep updating, especially if I find some egregious errors.

Rejection project status: 26,302 words in 93 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Rejected!

My short story in the Writer's Digest Short Story contest was a non-winner.

Now THERE'S a surprise!

The only thing left up in the air is whether I made the top 100 list in short stories. I'm not holding my breath on that one, either, but it would be nice to see how I fell in the ranking.

If I don't rank I'm going to blame it on the fact that I used the "p-word" too many times. Yep, it was in there a bunch, but it called for it. There was no gratuitous "p" in my story.

There's an upside to not winning. To get to the 4,000-word limit, I really had to slice and dice it and cut out some parts I thought were necessary. It was a much better story - at least in my opinion - at 5,000 words than 4,000.

This is a tough contest and I did not expect to win. I've read some of the entries from past years and they are very good. Congratulations to those who did win and good luck in catching that brass ring.

Rejection project status: 24,555 words in 84 pages.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Christmas present

I decided today that the Christmas present I will give myself is Knight in Shining Armor, Ltd, finished by the end of the year.

I'm not talking about final, ready-to-send-to-agents finished, but finished with the first write. It still won't be easy. That gives me about 70 days (roughly) to write about 60,000 words (roughly, again). As I said, not easy, but it gives me a target, even if it is one I will not hit.

I will be working in that direction and, unless the unforeseen happens I will be at least close by the end of the year.

On another note, if I am going to get notified as being the winner of the Writer's Digest short story contest, it will be by Friday. Not holding my breath.

Rejection project update: 23,167 words

Yours in rejection,

Phil

I wonder if this happens to other writers?

Here is something odd - or maybe normal I don't know.

I can write myself into a corner that I can't get out of.

It happened this weekend when I had a character fall asleep at a certain point, which effectively stopped the action of my main character. It seemed perfectly proper to write it in this manner at the time. Character A was tired and Character B needed time to think.

But I discovered I had made Character A so tired that she would not quickly wake up, which gave Character B - my main character - too much time to do nothing. So I wandered around in this mish-mash for 500 words or so trying to make it work, writing a bunch of drivel.

It is tough just hit the delete key on 500 words but that is what I eventually had to do. It hurt initially but felt a lot better once I got going again.

I always have the feeling that other writers - you know, those who actually get published - don't have these kinds of problems. I wonder if that is true? Probably never know.

Status of Rejection Project: 22,333 words.

Yours in Rejection,

Phil

Writing all day

On certain days, I would like to do nothing but write all day.

Working a full-time job leaves little time for writing and that doesn't even include all the other responsibilities I have, plus the desire to - every now and then - do something other than work.

And I can't forget about the "fatigue factor." If on a weekday I am able to write more than an hour on the rejection project I feel lucky. Last night, for instance, it was about 20 minutes, which did give me the time to write one good paragraph and kind of begin to work out of a jam in the narrative.

At least I think I would like to write a full day. It could be that, if given the opportunity, I would write productively for one hour then be stuck for the next eight or ten hours.

Rejection project status: 21,202 words.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Resistance of self

I am about 21,000 words on Knight in Shining Armor, Ltd, which is probably about 25 percent through the writing process. You never quite know, but the other two novels I have written have been between 80,000 and 90,000 words.

I don't have a target, though that might not necessarily be a bad idea. If you were determined not to let your manuscript go beyond, say, 80,000 words, at some point you would begin choosing your words much more wisely. I have a feeling this is some of the problem with my writing.

But here is something interesting: As I get to each little milestone, and even though I have now worked out some of the biggest problems with the story, I still try to convince myself that it isn't going to go to completion. I do this in ways large and small, obvious and subtle.

But my own negativity is not enough to stop me. I wonder why?

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Naked Lunch

I am almost through with Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. When I bought the book, from Prospero's bookstore in downtown Marshall, the owner said to me, "This is a famous novel."

And so it is. It is the novel of the beat generation. Reading the jacket notes, it is praised by reviewer after reviewer.

Certainly it is a shocking book, which must have been Burroughs' intent. He will rip you right out of your middle-class recliner and throw you into the world of junkies. I find it both fascinating and repelling. It is a difficult read with much of it the dreams, make that nightmares, of junkies.

And there is a lot of sex, not regular sex, but all kinds of disgusting scenarios where people are killed in the middle of gay encounters. Semen and shit are flung on almost every page.

Would I recommend it? Yes, with a caution.

You need to be prepared for this. I did not really understand what I was going to be reading. If you don't have a fairly strong stomach, I would steer clear. But if you want to read a novel that is written on the extreme and does have something important to say, you might give it a try.

Just be ready.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Crazy or brilliant?

In the course of writing novels - even ones that are in terminal rejection - you always run into problems, large and small. I have a big problem with KSA - a deal-breaker - but I think I have found a solution.

But I ran into a smaller problem when writing last night, so much so that I packed it in a little earlier than I normally would have.

So today I got an idea that is either, as the title says, crazy or brilliant. I'm going to let the character work it out himself.

Here's the situation: I am at a point where I don't know exactly what I want the next step to be, how I want the character to proceed. Part of this character's make-up is being unsure of himself and not believing in himself. Also, some inability to act.

So I decided to let the character make the decision himself. He is going to write it down a strategy on a notepad about what makes the most sense.

Will this work? Don't have a clue, but I'm going to try. Let my left brain (or is that the right brain) come up with a solution.

Best guess is that it will move me past a logjam enough to keep going but will take some serious rewriting later.

As to whether this is crazy or brilliant, I need only refer you to the title of this blog.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The march forward

I wrote 2,000 words last night, which is about double what I would do on a normal night, but sometimes Sundays can be more productive.

I should explain that when I say "wrote 2,000 words," I'm not trying to say that they were 2,000 good words, or that they will not all change in the first re-write. This is not the time to worry about that.

Part of the difficulty of writing (my opinion) is getting past the hurdle of actually putting words down, to move them from the safety of your brain, where no one will ever see them, to paper or computer where there is the possibility that they will be discovered.

Just prying them from your brain is the beginning, but it is not the hardest part. Once you have done that you must convince yourself that these thoughts and words are mere ore that must be processed and that, without that, they are fairly useless to anyone.

But first steps are good. Brain to computer document. I still have a long way to go with that.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

On poetry

As nearly as I can tell I have written 55 poems, all fairly close to completion. I say close because whenever I open one and begin to look at it I usually start tweaking it.

I have had one of the poems "published," so to speak, in an online zine, but I have not really spent that much effort trying to get any of them published. I don't think poetry is my strongest talent (to say the least), but I love reading poetry and I also enjoy writing it, so it is almost something I do for a change of pace. A sorbet for my mind.

Besides, not everything has to be written with the intent of publication. Some things can specifically not be written for anything but to get something out of your head.

A friend once asked me to post some of the poetry here, but the rules of "publication" would turn every poem posted into a "published" piece. That means no one else would consider it for publication. I probably will never even try to get most of it published but at least I want the option!

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The process

Since I am Mr. Rejection anyone who stumbles onto this blog would do well to take any advice I have with some trepidation. I am obviously just learning and, since this is largely self-taught, you never quite know when you are going in exactly the wrong direction.

Hmmmmm, since I've never had anything published, maybe that would be a clue for me....

But I have a feeling that the process is important. I mean, not just the writing and the final product, but how you get to that point, the number of times you re-write, how you proof, how you make decisions about plot, character, well you get the picture. There are likely 100 points of process.

I'm not saying that the successful writer necessarily makes all the correct decisions every time, but I believe the process is vital and not just the art of the work.

All conjecture, of course, take it for what it is worth.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

A solution? Maybe

I've mentioned several times that I had a major problem with KSA, Ltd., to the point that I worried I was going to write 30,000 words and just have to stop cold, not being able to write any more on this particular rejection project.

I've lost sleep over this. Spent a lot of nights staring up at the ceiling trying to think of a way for my "hero" to actually be a Knight in Shining Armor. I'm now at about 17,000 words, probably on my way to roughly 80,000-85,000 which would make me almost one-fourth done. I am not at a point in the narrative where this must be decided, but I can see it in the horizon, so I was beginning to get antsy.

But this morning an idea came to me out of the blue and it makes total sense with my character and how he would act. Not only that, but it covers a topic I know a great deal about, at least in the emotional sense.

Now it is just an idea, so there are not any guarantees just yet. Furthermore, it is pretty vague at this moment. Instead of calling it an idea, I should call it an idea of an idea. That's how unformed it is.

But that is a lot more than I had yesterday. Hooray for me.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

A first re-read

As everyone knows, re-reading and re-writing is the real chore of creating a novel - or, as in my case, a rejection project.

So last night, instead of writing further on Knight in Shining Armor, Ltd. I did a first re-read, re-write from the top. I do this periodically, in hopes of not going too far astray. It is easy to catch the really, really bad parts of your writing.

What is not so easy is catching the not-very-good parts and that (I'm guessing) is what turns a rejection project into a finished and published novel, or it is at least one of the things.

Because you wrote it, you tend to like it, get amused with the same turns of phrase that you liked a few weeks, or months ago.

But a lot of it is probably crap. Which is why other people should read it, but unless you have someone who is both actually not biased in favor of your work — and who knows a noun from an adverb — then the results of having it read may not be that helpful.

So you try to turn a critical eye to it, but I'm not sure how good that "eyesight" really is. The good news is I've changed much. The bad news is I don't if I've changed it for the better or for the worse.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Short-short story vs. novel

I mentioned that I am entering the Writer's Digest short-short story contest. In this case, the story can be no longer than 1,500 words. I've seen limits for these short-shorts be as low as 1,000 words, but I've never entered one before.

I've been writing on the short-short for about a week and I am at about 900 words. I write well more than that every night on my third and latest rejection project, otherwise known as a novel.

I'm no genius, but something tells me this is a clue that I've taken a wrong turn.

With the short-short I find myself agonizing over every word and, when I begin the night writing on it, I completely re-read it, honing it as I go.

It would make sense that I follow a similar procedure on the novel.

My novels aren't getting rejected because of my writing ability, or so I've been told, so perhaps this isn't absolutely necessary, but I'm sure my work would be substantially better if I worked at it the same way.

Or maybe not. I don't much like the short-short to this point and I'm not sure it will be the one that eventually gets turned in.

Surely a topic to think about as I write. I'm not in a race of time, I'm in a race of quality.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Past 15,000 words

My latest rejection project just passed the 15,000-word mark. It is getting easier to write as I go, though I still have a MAJOR problem to solve down the road and I don't have a clue how I will do it.

I'm counting on the muse to pull me through. She's never failed me before.

I wonder if there is a muse for getting books published? If so, she don't come ’round here!

At this rate I think I will be through with this project (assuming I can solve this problem) in two months or less. Then: More rejection letters. Oh, joy!

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Writing contests

I have only entered one writing contest and it is a big one: The annual Writer's Digest short story contest. I would imagine there are tens of thousands of entries.

I would hate to judge the thing!

All of this horde will find out by Oct. 22 how we fared according to the rules. I have no expectations, but I will be interested in seeing who wins, or rather the kind of story that wins. I liked my story, but that is pretty meaningless. It would be impossible, but I would also like to know where my story ranked along the continuum. Well, it is impossible unless you win or get one of the top 25 prizes.

Still, it was fun to enter and Writer's Digest is also having a short-short story contest. No more than 1,500 words. Just look on the Web site if you are interested. I'm going to enter it, too. These things must be real money-makers.

It does cost you $20 to enter and the top prize is $3,000. You can enter as many times as you want, but I would advise working on one story until you are absolutely sick of it and making it the best you can.

I'll let you know later this month if I get a letter in the mail telling me I'm a winner, but I would advise you to remember the title of this blog.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Solitary man

Writing is a solitary exercise. As much as you might want it to be otherwise, it cannot be a group project. You can talk to other people about what you are writing, how it is going, or whatever else and they will never quite understand.

That's because it is all going on inside your head and only one person at a time fits inside of your head.

Well, at least you hope there is only one.

This can also be frustrating though, both for you and for those who genuinely care about your work. About all I can ever say is, "going OK," or "having trouble."

Other than what I write here, of course, but this is mostly just me talking to myself.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The importance of headphones

Since I no longer have a serene writing space, which is a real bummer, I had to find a way to create one, or at least a way to block out the ambient noise of televisions, people talking on telephones, dogs barking, the world breathing.... You get the picture.

I can't write with all that noise, but I have always been able to write encased in music as long as it is loud. I know, this probably doesn't make any sense, but writing may not make any sense on any level, anyway, so there you go.

The answer appears to be noise-canceling headphones, with the music from my iTunes cranked up and the noise-canceling feature turned on. No, I don't know how that works and don't care.

But it works wonderfully. I am a key-pounder and I cannot even hear myself type.

I didn't buy the expensive kind. Those ones from Bose cost hundreds of dollars. I just went to Wal-Mart and I think they were something like 50 bucks. They may not be quite as fancy, but they do the trick just fine.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Knight in Shining Armor, Ltd.

That's my new title for my latest exercise in rejection that I've been working on. The Ltd. is supposed to be italicized, but I couldn't do that in the title. Of course, it could change a dozen more times.

I just passed the 10,000-word marker and have been writing almost every night on it, picking up speed with each passing night.

Still have a few major hurdles to overcome on this one, but I am warming to it. The 10,000-word level is usually the first sign that I am really on to something. I have half-a-dozen projects I have started and written 7,000 or 8,000 words and then...just...nothing.

When do I know it is really going to make? Usually when I get between 25,000 to 30,000 words. By that time I will either have worked out my problems or found they are insurmountable.

I can hardly wait to start the rejection parade again! Exciting, that's what it is.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Getting into KSA

I've decided that KSA, Inc. (or whatever the name ultimately turns out to be) is going to make. The flash of a plot turn came to me as I was slogging through it the other night, looking for inspiration.

This is something I have learned: Inspiration does not come in a flash, it comes after hard work. Work is required before the inspiration, not the other way around. It would be so much easier if you could get inspired first.

All the problems in this novel are not worked out by any means and there still remain a few significant stumbling blocks, but I have come up with an original plot idea (I think) so I am beginning to feel energized.

Gee, I hope it lasts.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The easy way

It is easier to not work than work.
It is easier just to say, "I can't do this," than to try.
It is easy just to fall out of habits than to keep them up.
Easier not to create. Easier to watch TV. Easier to read poems other people have written. Easier to read great novels.
Much easier.
So if you want to write, you just have to push yourself beyond all real reason for doing it, especially when rejection is the typical result of everything you do.
I've been having to push myself to get much of anything done, like walking through goopy mud.
But I'm trying.
Yours in rejection,

Phil

A new direction

I can't get back into "Lost in Translation," at least not now, it is going to take some time and space for me.

I've been writing poetry, just to get back into the swing, but tonight I wrote on an idea I had in the middle of writing "Translation."

It's tentatively called KSA, Inc., about an unlikely guy who turns out to be a Knight in Shining Armor (hence, KSA) for the downtrodden.

I wanted to write something and pretend I was James Patterson, write something totally without merit. Hey, at worst it is just another way to get rejected, right?

Anyway, KSA, Inc. is total fluff and fun, which does kind of make it fun and easy to write. Have less than 10,000 words, so it might not even make, but we'll see where it goes.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Better up or better down?

Does my writing flow more easily when I am happy or when I am depressed?

This is a good question and it is not all that easily solved. Some say no true art is ever created without pain being involved. I don't think I believe that.

But a mild depression does seem to help me write. Notice I said help me write, not necessarily help me write better.

And depression is exhausting. I want to write, but I am often too tired to do so. I have more trouble writing when I am upbeat, but I have more energy to push it out.

I'm not answering this question today and I might never do so, just something to ponder.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

So what will I do in my 56th year?

Looking back, I didn't have such a bad double-nickle, though I did not meet my goal of finding an agent. I thought it was going to happen a few times, but it just didn't.

Such is life, and all that. Rejections ground me more than acceptance ever would. Besides that, I surely know I am not alone in the world.

In fact, over here in the rejection side of life it is damn crowded.

But in my 55th year I rewrote a novel, completely wrote another one, wrote a raft of poetry, wrote half-a-dozen short stories and did all that querying trying to find an agent.

The last couple of months HAVE been kinda draggy, but that is still a lot of work to do during roughly 10 months — not to mention that I have a day job to worry about.

So I feel pretty good about it all — but I won't feel good if I can't get re-energized.

I have written four or five poems in the last few weeks, all in various stages of revision. A couple of them have promise. That is a beginning, but I don't think poetry is my strongest talent. That means it will probably be the only place I am ultimately published.

Such is life!

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The death of Elaine Koster

I wrote about agent Elaine Koster several times near the beginning of this blog. She is the agent who took on "The Kite Runner" when so many other agents turned it down.

She died recently and the literary world is poorer for her passing.

She rejected my work, but at least initialed my query, which is proof-positive that she looked at it and I always appreciated that. I know, that probably sounds goofy, but when rejections are the stuff of life, you get to appreciate the small things.

Since she obviously worked almost until the day she died, I doubt I was her last rejection, but I was near the end. I can only hope what I sent wasn't so bad that it made her more ill.

RIP EK, you made the reading world a better place.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Back from Brazil

My sojourn to Brazil is done and with it I came back with the conviction that Lost in Translation had to be rewritten. The more I view the manuscript the more it seems to me that it really is truly lacking in what it takes. The idea is still good, I think, but the execution was just not up to the standards that I need.

The question is: Am I good enough to make it good enough?

Who knows? All I know to do is to keep plugging away.

I haven't written much over the last two months, honestly. I was pretty drained after finishing the manuscript, then doing all the querying.

I am also not completely sure I will pick it right up again. Might try a little poetry to begin with and ease back into it. I have some general ideas about Lost in Translation, but nothing definitive.

In other words, I'm a bit lost about Lost. We'll see which direction it takes.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Don't overlook Mary Oliver

If you want to learn about writing, from the process to the muse, you should delve into some of the books written by Mary Oliver, who won the Pulitzer Prize for her poetry.

This woman has produced some of the most beautiful and meaningful poetry I have ever read. But she has written several books about writing, too, and it turns out that those are just as passionate as her poetry.

I own two of her books which are instructive for more than those who write poetry.

A Poetry Handbook is a wonderful book that doesn't read like a textbook, though it sounds like one. It should be read by everyone who wants to be a writer.

The other book: Rules for the Dance, is a bit more technical, but if you want to understand how poetry is written it is truly insightful.

I don't write good poetry, but I still try to do so sometimes and maybe I will get better. It is just one more way of expressing yourself through the written word.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Perseverance

A friend asked me today about my writing and I told him the sad truth: Novel No. 2 is getting far less attention than Novel No. 1 when I expected just the opposite.

I was clear that I didn't really know what to do.

"Are you going to keep trying?" he asked me.

Well, yeah, because to do otherwise is just to give up essentially and I'm not keen on doing that. Still it is a lot of work that I face and it is not much fun. Never let anyone tell you that writing isn't hard work. I've never known anyone for whom it came easy.

So I keep on, but I've now put aside any decision until I return from a trip on July 28. I cannot do anything before then anyway.

Besides, I'm a born procrastinator.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Two novels

I just finished reading Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon. If you haven't read it, I urge you to do so. I urge you to read any and all of her books actually, though I've only read three myself. I intend to read them all over the next few years.

I went from Morrison to Karl Marlantes, who wrote the new best-seller Matterhorn, which is hot right now. Reading some of the reader reviews I was struck by the number of people who used the word "art" to describe the novel.

I like the book so far - only about 75 pages into it - but I would not describe it as art. Those people should read Morrison if they want to experience art.

I think I will end up recommending Marlantes' novel, but it isn't in the same league as any of the Morrison books I've read. That, my friends, is art.

Two things I WILL NOT do

The first is that I am NOT going to self-publish. No matter what. If the experts don't think I can bring in enough money to pay for the effort, I'm not going to test that opinion. I have - and will - put in the effort to write, but I'm not going to spend the money, too.

Second, I will NOT do a John Kennedy Toole.

Toole wrote "A Confederacy of Dunces," which is a hilarious book and I love it, but he couldn't get it published.

So he offed himself in despair.

His mother kept the dream alive and eventually got it published.

I am not in despair from all these rejections and I suppose one of the points of this blog is that, if anyone happens across it, to not fall into that hole, either.

Publishing is certainly nice and I desire it, but the writing is what matters.

Oh, a third thing I will not do. I will not make a collection of my columns (which would almost certainly mean self-publishing anyway).

If you want to self-publish, I'm not criticizing that, it just isn't for me.

However, if you are thinking of jumping in front of a truck because you can't get published, my firm advice would be against it.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Molly Friedrich gave it her best

I got this rejection today from Molly Friedrich today. A form rejection, but still a little different:


Dear Author,

Well, it's finally happened: after over thirty years of answering every query letter that has ever come my way, I've been forced to finally acknowledge that a new era is upon us all. Before the arrival of e-mail submissions, I used to receive perhaps one hundred queries a week. That was a lot of queries but it wasn't frankly unmanageable. The Friedrich Agency now receives more than twice that on a daily basis and it's becoming impossible to attend to much of anything else! I'm so sorry for the impersonal response, I hate to do this. Writing a good book or a good proposal is among the hardest things in the world to do; I promise, we're not unsympathetic! You have our word that we are reading every single query letter that comes our way, but from now on, we're only responding personally if we're sufficiently curious and would like to read further. Please don't take offense at this Draconian measure-- there is undoubtedly a wonderful agent out there for whom your book might just be the perfect match. Toward that end, we wish you all the best!

Take care,

Molly Friedrich

So at least she tried to answer all the letters personally. I give Molly a thumb's up for effort but not two thumbs up because it was, after all, a rejection. Besides, I have a daughter named Molly and I am predisposed to think highly of all of them.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Rejections march on

Got a few more rejections - of the form variety - over the last few days. Since these all come from emailed queries I'm not sure how many more I can expect. Some agents don't respond to emails if they aren't interested.

So my decision looms ever closer about what to do with this novel. I do NOT want to just jettison this story and I can't see myself doing that. None of the choices are easy, though, and none of them guarantee success, or even make it remotely more certain.

Some great agent out there could make this easy on me.

Nah, I didn't think so.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

When rejections are priceless

Most of us don't have the money to have our manuscripts read by an editor, or at least read by an editor who could really add to our chances of getting an agent or getting published.

So that's why it helps to be "lucky" enough to get rejected by some agents who will tell you a bit about why they didn't go for your work.

I recently got a rejection from Liz Jote of Objective Entertainment. Liz had this to say:

Dear Phil,

Thanks for the look, but I think this is going to be a pass for me. Unfortunately, though I thought the plot was intriguing, the narrative didn't grab me as much as I would have hoped.

I sent Ms. Jote a number of pages - I think 50 - to look at. This gave her something by which to judge my writing.

So the narrative sucks, huh? Well this is important. She likes the plot, but my execution of the plot turned her off.

Invaluable, I tell you. I wish all rejections came with just one line, but then most don't ever read your work, just your query letter.

This rejection, though, made my day.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

What's in that envelope?

I'm very experienced in rejection, but I don't know a hang about acceptance so I couldn't say for sure if getting back self-stamped, self-addressed envelope always means a rejection. It just always has for me.

Ah, but hope springs eternal from every unopened envelope, so I run my fingers along the outside up and down. Is this one a little thicker than the others, I ask myself.

Could it be a request for a partial or even a full??

No it couldn't be. Sometimes it is a card, sometimes it is just a thick piece of paper.

Just happened again today with a query I had forgotten about from weeks ago. Felt thick, so maybe it is a good sign. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Nope, just another rejection and a form one at that.

Darn nice piece of stationary, though. Really thick paper.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

The good news is....

I got none of those "instant" rejections that usually happen when you send out queries by email, the ones that come within a few hours of you sending them, or the next day.

This means nothing but, as a writing reject you take your joy where you can find it, so there you go.

An anonymous person (I have a feeling I know who) asked that I post my query letter here, so I will. I always tell myself in getting rejected that the agent is just passing judgment on my ability to write query letters, not my fiction.

So here goes:

Dear Agent:

Run! It was the last word Berjulio “B.H.” Velasquez heard his mother say before she was escorted away by officers of ICE — Immigration and Customs Enforcement — and he did not hesitate to obey, though he quickly realized the consequences of doing so left him stranded and alone on the streets of Los Angeles.

My novel, FOUND IN TRANSLATION, complete at 69,000 words, traces B.H. as he struggles to survive and finds an oasis from the danger of the streets in an open door at a branch library. Head librarian Stephanie Ryan discovers that she has large “rat,” soon realizing that it is a homeless boy. Stephanie is joined by a police sergeant and officer who take an interest in the case of finding the boy before immigration officials, who are required by law to deport him back to Mexico without his parents. As the parents struggle to sneak back across the border without getting caught, those who would help him race against time. The parents themselves have difficulty with some who supposedly want to offer them help. The rescue is completed with essential help from the Los Angeles’ Latino community and the family is eventually reunited. The circumstances of B.H.’s story are quite real. Every year children are deported to Mexico without their guardians.

My name is Phil Latham and I am editor and publisher of the Marshall News Messenger a small daily newspaper in East Texas. I have written a twice-weekly column for the last 25 years and editorials for almost as long. I have won a raft of awards for both, as well as for the public service my newspaper has done. I am former editor of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Lufkin Daily News, though I did not participate in the project that earned that award. By my own conservative estimation, I’ve written about two million published words. For some 10 years my column was distributed by the New York Times News Service and has been published in newspapers across the country and the globe.

In my search for possible agents I have tried to match my story and circumstances as best I can. I appreciate your indulgence in considering it and any time you might spend doing so. If time permits, I would request the courtesy of a reply.

Thank you,

Phil Latham


That's it. If you see anything stupid, let me know.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Here I go again

Sent nine queries by email today and prepared five others to be mailed tomorrow.

Already have gotten one "pre-rejection" on the email side: "Thank you for your submission but I will only contact you if I am interested."

Translation: Abandon all hope, ye who query here.

But I never abandon hope, so we'll see what happens. I will keep the world apprised.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

You can't write like that

Often, when I'm reading a good book I will say to myself, "Wow, I wish I could write like that."

But of course I can't.

And neither can you.

Each of us can only write just as we do. I comes from inside us - I haven't figured out just where yet - and each word we write is ours and only ours.

As an interesting exercise I can try to imitate Faulkner or Hemingway, but really attempting to do that seriously would be, as might daughter might say, a "classic fail."

We can each get better in our own writing and we should try to do that and never stop trying.

But ultimately what we write is a fundamental part of who we are. I can no more borrow someone's ability to write than I could borrow Arnold Schwarzenegger's arm to impress all my friends.

I'll be back.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd

Ray Stevens wrote and sang that instant classic. They just don't make them like that any more.

You can't write in a buffalo herd either. Well, anything you write has a funny smell to it, sort of like what those buffalo leave behind.

Which is to say that you need solitude to write. I haven't been getting any solitude lately and I haven't been writing much. When it is 11:30 p.m. before you get to be alone, the brain is already whining for rest.

I need solitude. I'm not asking for much, but a few hours would be nice. Even one hour a night would be nice. My next step is to buy some of those noise-canceling headphones and then maybe some blinders so I can only see straight ahead.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

On reading and writing

I don't think even if you are feverishly writing on an idea you should ever give up reading good literature.

Not all of what I read could be considered literature, exactly, but most of it is. Sometimes I just have to dumb myself down and read a bit of science fiction or a pot-boiler mystery. Not that I'm criticizing that writing - those authors have accomplished more than I have and they often have a great following of loyal readers.

But can you be a great writer if you don't read great literature? I doubt it. If you think you can't find any you like, you haven't looked around enough. If you don't know how to find it, I suggest reading book reviews. Or, one thing I do if I'm browsing a bookstore with no title in mind is look for this on a book: "A New York Times Notable Book."

I have not once been disappointed.

But take any of my advice with caution. I am a writing reject.

Your in rejection,

Phil

Fourteen Queries to Go

I looked at my query list for Found In Translation today and saw I have fourteen more agent names of those I targeted when I first started sending out queries about two months ago.

There are other agents out there, of course, but some of them are clearly not going to be interested in a novel such as mine.

So I'm going to try these last fourteen and see what happens. Then I'll make a decision on whether to rewrite and which way to go.

Can you tell I'm putting it off? I have no stomach for it right now, but I will just have to gut it up, like it or not.

Unless I get that "yes" I'm looking for.

Nah, I'll be gutting it up.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Thanks, Vonciel!

My friend Vonciel signed up to follow me, which I appreciate, just because it makes me feel as if I am not totally talking to myself.

But for writers, talking to yourself is OK. I've found in just a short time that this blog helps me clear some of my thoughts.

If you are a writer, I recommend it. If someone else on a similar journey happens across this and it helps them, all the better.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Online writing groups

Probably, out there somewhere, a good online writing group exists.

I haven't found it yet and each one of the half-dozen I've been a part of has been disappointing.

The concept is good. People you don't know read your work and give you valuable feedback, something you can't get from friends (see an earlier post about that).

The problem is none of the groups has a good way to match the writing levels of those doing the critiques with the writers.

So you could easily have a high school student reading your work. I don't mind that, but when the bulk of those critiquing are not anywhere close to a target audience it seems like a waste of time.

I quit the last one I was in after I got a critique that included a notation from the writer that he "suspected" I was using too many commas.

OK, great. Thanks a lot for that. I'll go remove half of them at random.

Here's how it could work: If five or six people at about the same writing level formed a group and when you needed something read you could get five opinions on it. If a site like this exists I have not found it.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

A 'nice' rejection; time to send more queries

I got a nice rejection today from Ann Rittenberg.

A "nice" rejection in my definition is one that is not just a small piece of paper or a card that apologizes for the impersonal nature of the rejection.

A nice rejection is actually personalized, cites you by name and is actually signed by the agent.

In my imagination (which is all that matters in these instances) a nice rejection is one step up the ladder from the form rejection and shows a bit of respect.

If this isn't true please don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss.

I believe the Rittenberg rejection to be the last still outstanding. Since I have one group, maybe two groups, of queries left to send, I will do that this week.

When the last queries are sent I will have some serious deciding on what to do with my second novel, Found in Translation.

But I'll worry about that tomorrow, not today.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

To rewrite, or to forge ahead? Part 1

This is likely to be a multi-post argument as I try to decide whether to rewrite my second novel from an adult mainstream into young adult. Or a rewrite from adult into a much edgier novel. Or do nothing at all and just keep trying

Quite some decisions, huh?

But, frankly, I'm not getting nearly as much interest as I thought I would with novel No. 2. In fact, it has been far less than I got from my first novel. This is surprising because novel No. 1 is fairly convoluted — I'm not going to bore you with the details, but trust me, it is. Novel No. 2 is highly plot-driven. It goes from point A to point B, though the reader doesn't know where point B is until near the end, it is a logical progression.

The first novel got a lot of attention from agents and I believe I was close a couple of times. Rather, I should say a few agents led me to believe I was close.

Agent Felicia Eth said novel No. 2 didn't work because it was "too much like a docudrama." I have pondered this a great deal.

I began writing the second novel with the idea it would be YA and then diverged after I got into it. I have some ideas for going in either direction, but I'm not sure I have given it a full-enough chance yet as it is.

Probably spend today thinking about it. I haven't written much in two weeks and I'm getting itchy.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

What are friends for?

I read on another site - I don't remember which one - that you shouldn't let your friends read your unpublished work because they will always give you the wrong advice.

Soooooo....If you don't let your friends read your work, are you just supposed to send it off totally unread to agents and publishers?

I don't think you are going to be able to hang around outside, say, a McDonald's and find total strangers who are willing to read what you have written.

"Hey, buddy, can you spare a few days to read this novel I've written?"

Few of us have the money to pay a professional editor to read what we have written. I only wish I did. If you haven't checked the prices on that lately, don't bother unless you have a lot of coins in the bank.

A better idea - this coming from someone who hasn't made it past first base in the publishing world, understand - is to let friends read the book, but only believe the criticism they offer and none of the praise. Most of us aren't looking for praise, anyway.

I'll post soon about my experience using online writing conferences.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

First step: Believe in yourself

As I've said, all the agents who have awarded me with rejection have been either nice (often) or professional (always).

Still, the attempt to get published is not for the faint of heart. The initial writing is nothing compared to the ongoing work that happens afterward. To continue to do it in the face of constant rejection takes some serious loin-girding.

You must believe in yourself because in the beginning very few others will and perhaps in some cases no one will. I can absolutely count on the fingers of one hand the people who really think I can do this — and that includes me.

If this depresses you, think about it a moment. How many people do you know who could tell you they were trying to get a novel published would you really believe had a real chance to be successful? I'm guessing there are very few.

So don't worry about that. The disbelief of others is natural. Just believe in yourself and don't stop. I may never be successful in finding an agent or a publisher but it won't ruin my life. I'm engaged in work I love and any work that is worthwhile is always difficult, leaning toward impossible.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

My definition of a 'good' rejection

I'm not exactly sure how I will handle it if I actually get something other than a rejection notice. As it is, I look at each rejection and mentally put it into a category of "good, bad, worse."

A "good" rejection is not one in which the agent says anything nice about my work. It is one in which the agent gives me some clue as to why they have rejected the work. This is all-important even though — as every single rejection notice says — this is a very subjective field and one opinion often doesn't mean much.

So here is a rejection from agent Katie Grimm of Don Congdon Associates:

Dear Phil,

Thank you for your email query and apologies for the delay. I appreciate the opportunity to consider FOUND IN TRANSLATION for possible representation, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent for it. The concept just didn’t grab me, and you deserve an enthusiastic agent who can champion your work. Of course this is only one response, and tastes vary widely among agents. I wish you the best of luck finding the right home for your work.

I love this for a number of reasons. First, she apologized for the delay! Can you believe it? This is unheard of. Second she tells me that "the concept just didn't grab me." OK, that tells me something.

That doesn't mean that my concept is off, it could be that the letter I wrote explaining the concept is bad. OR, yeah, the concept could be bad.

At least it gives me something to think about!

Thanks, Katie!

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Moving On

Larry McMurtry wrote a fabulous novel in his earlier days and I always find that not many people have read it. It is called "Moving on" and it about the difficulty of doing that.

I feel his pain.

In the forward to that book, McMurtry revealed that how he wrote a book was to think of a title first, then write the book around it.

This is hard to believe and I'm not sure McMurtry wasn't just leading us on. But he told the story in the context of having the material for this book after writing "All My Friends Are Going to be Strangers," (another great book) and how difficult it was to come up with a title after finishing the novel.

Maybe that is the secret. Spend three months coming up with a title, then write the book around it.

Nah, that's the kind of thing that would only work if your name is "McMurtry."

For people with my last name - and maybe yours - there is another answer. Too bad we don't know what it is yet.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

In Search of Bigfoot

Maybe what I really need instead of an editor to read my book is a tailor.

But, on second thought, most agents assure me it is not the crap-osity of my writing that leads them to say "no," but the that that they wouldn't "fit" with my work.

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I do not feel I am the right fit for this," one agent writes me.

See, it isn't my fault at all. The agent just isn't the right fit.

So I keep wondering what an agent would look like who would "fit" my work.

Frankenstein? That thing from Alien? Maybe the Predator.

Or maybe a drag queen.

I don't need to write, I just need to go on a search for the Bigfoot of agents.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

When I always feel better

After my bit of self-pity earlier tonight I got a chance to write on a short story and the words flowed well. Sometimes they do and sometimes they do.

But getting published or not, I always feel better after I write. Part of the point of this blog is to make certain I write something every day. You must push yourself to do it, even when you know it will make you feel better.

That is something to remember.

Getting published would, indeed, feel good, but not as good as just the writing itself.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

All it takes is one "Yes!"

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you just have to win the lottery once, too.

Out of sorts. Four rejection letters in the mail today.

Four. FOUR. I will refrain from cursing with an alliterative expletive.

Plenty of moments you simply want to quit. But I won't think of that today, I'll think of that tomorrow.

I hope you get a "yes" today.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Elaine Koster and the DaVinci Code

To properly understand this post you need to get within the mind of a person who gets multiple rejections from literary agents.

Screw that, I wouldn't do that to you. But let's put it this way, prospective authors are looking for ANY sign on a rejection note — even the form rejection — that will give them some clues about their work.

But when I pulled ELAINE KOSTER'S rejection note from the envelope, I didn't really pay much attention that it was from ELAINE KOSTER. That would make her initials E.K., right?

Yes.

But I wasn't paying attention to that. I was looking at the small, handwritten note at the top of the page. It said "Sorry, not for us. EK, 5-31."

At least that was all I saw at the moment. Had I been paying attention I would have noted that the rejection was from ELAINE KOSTER.

Instead, my eye went directly to the "EK, 5-31."

This agent is quoting a Bible verse! I was beside myself. She is trying to send me a clue about my work! But what kind of clue. Quick, I had to find a Bible.

What was EK, anyway? I figured Ezekiel, so I quickly went to find Ezekiel 5:31. There is no such verse, but Ezekiel's Chapter 5 has some interesting passages including this gem:

"I will make you a ruin and a reproach among the nations around you, in the sight of all who pass by. 15 You will be a reproach and a taunt, a warning and an object of horror to the nations around you when I inflict punishment on you in anger and in wrath and with stinging rebuke."

What? What had I done to piss off this woman?

Maybe it was Exodus, or Ecclesiastes. Nope and Nope.

I went back for the tenth time to look at the note. Who was this woman?

It was ELAINE KOSTER, EK. Then I noticed there wasn't just a 5-31, but it was a 5-31-10.

It was the freaking date and her initials.

Somehow, I still feel as if this is a punishment from God.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

"The Kite Runner" mystery

I read that Khaled Hosseini, the author of "The Kite Runner," said he was rejected by 30 agents before the intelligent Elaine Koster signed him on.

I'll have another post about Elaine Koster later, but for right now, I cannot get past my astonishment that 30, THIRTY, THREE-ZERO agents rejected "The Kite Runner." Oh, my good Lord.

This is beyond discouraging.

Because how much worse are either of my novels than "The Kite Runner"? The scale has not been invented to map such a difference. It would have to be on the order of parsecs.

And, remember, this is by MY judgment. I wrote the novels and think they are damn fine pieces of work (he said with an air of humility), but they are not "The Kite Runner."

Here is the only optimistic thing I can gather from this story. I happen to know that 30 agents did not read "The Kite Runner" and reject it. Probably 25 of them read and rejected a query letter. Another four read and rejected the 30 sample pages he sent with the original query. One asked for the first 100 pages and rejected it.

Then along came Elaine Koster. Damn smart woman.

More later on her.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

'Not what we need at this time'

One of my favorite rejection form rejection notes I did not even recognize as a form the first time I saw it. Only when I sent the same agent another query for a completely different novel — and got the same exact note — did I realize what was going on.

"This wasn't as compelling as I thought it would be," the agent said.

As an author this is a bit deflating of course. Not compelling? Hell, I thought it was jam packed with compelling.

But at least the agent read the short sample you sent, you think. That is better than nothing. Then you toddle away to make your work more "compelling," however the hell you do that.

Then I got the same note for the second novel.

Now is it a form letter, or is all my crap just non-compelling? Well, I admit, the latter is a distinct possibility, but it sounds too fishy for me.

Besides, I think I am damn compelling.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Closure, I need closure!

You may think the testy rejection note, or perhaps the downright mean one (I've never gotten one of those) is as low as it gets trying to find a place for your work.

Wrong.

The worst is no answer at all.

Which is why I would prefer to send a query via snail-mail with an SASE, though it costs money rather than send an email to an agent who openly tells you, "We only respond to work we are interested in."

Why is this? Because, they say, they get so many solicitations.

Balderdash, I say.

It takes no longer to hit the "reply" button and type "no, thanks" and hit "send" than it does to stuff a rejection note into an SASE and put it in the outbox.

Most of those you email will give you a response.

Thank you, gentlemen and ladies. I greatly appreciate it and so do millions of other sub-par and otherwise unpublished writers.

To the rest of you, I'd like to impress upon you to just hit that reply button. You don't even have to thank us, just say "no." It will make us sleep better. Really.

Yours in rejection,

Phil

My current favorite agent

That would be Felicia Eth, who I saw on one list as being one of the top 10 fiction agents in the country.

The top ten! And she wanted to see my work!

Hooray!

OK, so she was interested in my novel enough to want to see the first 100 pages.

I sent the pages off and waited with every cliche you can possibly think of. I burned candles. found out the origin of the "Eth" name and prayed to the ancient Gods.

So I get a wonderful email back from Felicia. Forget that she didn't want to pick me up, she said nice things about my writing, she told me what she thought was wrong, she gave me hints of how I might go about correcting it.

You can't pay for that kind of help from someone of her caliber.

Thank you, Felicia Eth.

So you CAN get rejected and it makes you feel even better.

But there is this: I sent the first 100 pages and Felicia told me some of the problems she had.

I wanted to send her back an email and say, "Felicia, all that stuff you wanted, it started on PAGE ONE-HUNDRED-ONE!!!

I didn't think she would buy it. She's too smart for that...

Yours in rejection,

Phil

Blog No. 4,587,235,683,001

I feel so special. There are now 47 blogs for every man, woman and child on Earth.

The topic of this blog? To chronicle rejections I get in my attempt to get fiction published. It will not be a vent against agents, who are obviously completely correct in throwing my crap out of their offices as quickly as possible and then, perhaps, getting the place fumigated following that.

No, almost all of these agents are so incredibly nice it amazes me. Dealing with jerks like most writers are, how do they do it? I don't know, but I like agents.

Really.

And if you decided to represent me and any one of my novels I would like you even better. I would even be your very special friend.

Alas, as with my fiction, I am sure that I will be writing to myself in this blog. This is OK, because mostly I am the person I talk to — along with those other people in my head.

As I get rejected, I will pass it along, with whatever nice note I get. I'll even do some catch-up with some of the more special rejections I have been privileged to get.

But maybe if any other poor slob out there who is also trying to get published reads this they will realize that they are not alone.

There are millions of us.

We are an army. A very bad army, but an army nonetheless.

Yours in rejection,

Phil